6:04am October 16, 2014

How to tell when people are actively talking about you behind your back.

It usually works like this, for me:

A number of people, some of whom I might know, some of whom I don’t know, all start using the same words and phrases in conversations with me.

For instance: referring to my caregivers as “servants”. That’s a very clear example because this is not a normal way for even misguided people to refer to disabled people’s caregivers, but it is a way that my stalkers have referred to my caregivers in order to bias people against me.

The other thing is, when a number of seemingly unconnected people all start accusing you of doing the same shit you didn’t do, or saying the same shit you never said, at the same time.

When you see either or both of those things happening. And especially both. You can bet that there are people who are talking behind your back about you. And not just talking behind your back, but doing so with malicious intent. The more similar the bizarre accusations coming from a number of different people, the more certain you can be that this is happening.

You can also often pick up turns of phrase. Like servants. Except more than one word in a row. I can’t think of any good examples right now. Oh yes, there was awhile when people kept telling me “autism isn’t an exclusive club, you know”. And “exclusive club” kept appearing in my interactions with certain people, who would turn out to be connected to my bullies.

So if you see these things happening to you or a friend of yours, you can be pretty sure there’s some kind of cyber bullying campaign going on. Be alert for things like this because if you encounter someone doing this, it might not even be worth engaging with them. They aren’t likely to be a well meaning but confused person, they’re far more likely to be a bully or someone associated with bullies.

These are not people you need to be giving the time of day to. And it took me a long time to trust that when I came across the same weird turns of phrase, or the same weird accusations that bore no resemblance to anything I’d actually said, that the problem wasn’t me, it was people deliberately spreading disinformation about me.

Notes: