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4:35am October 25, 2014

In desperation, I’ve downloaded HabitRPG for my iPad.  I need some kind of incentive not to eat (and meanwhile to get other things done that I really want to get done) because otherwise I could aspirate and die, and nothing else is working.  I’d tried some behavior chart things but they were all meant for children.  This is clearly meant for adults.  Above are some pictures of some of the pages, both the pages you use when just working the app, and the setup pages.  I’m actually very optimistic about this app helping me get done a lot of things that need to get done.  I know it’s basically behavior mod, but I’ve always been told I’m an “excellent candidate” for behavior mod, from anyone who’s ever tried it on me.  Which is, normally, bad, but I think in this case it could work in my favor.  Especially since I’m the one in total control here, there’s nobody writing me a behavior plan.  And I’ve heard it helps a lot of neurodivergent adults get things done.  So I have high hopes that I will stop eating orally entirely (yogurt is an exception, but only at certain times and circumstances, and it still has to mostly get drained out).  And also that I’ll get more of these other things done.  


You’ll notice I’ve put recreational stuff on there – that’s because autistic inertia and catatonia and executive function problems make it just as hard to do fun things as it is to do necessary things..  And fun things are necessary things, believe it or not.  They’re not just add-ons to a life of compulsory drudgery.  Even the poorest people in the world are known to budget some of their money for fun when they can. Because it’s that powerfully needed by human beings and other animals.  It’s part of how we deal with stress, it’s part of how we handle life in general, it’s part of how we learn.  But even if fun wasn’t “useful”, I’d still have it on there, because it’s still hard for me to initiate fun activities.  And because when I can’t do the things that are fun for me, that’s usually a huge warning sign that I could be slipping into depression or depression-like territory..