as small as a world and as large as alone

11:30pm November 7, 2014

codeman38:

vocaloidfan999:

that autistic feel when ur tryin to cross the street alone and you cant tell if the cars are going to hit you or not and theres no crosswalk nearby, so you wait for every single car to cross and it feels like every allistic in the town is staring at you for taking so long to cross the street but you just cant. tell. if. ur. gonna. get. hit.

This is totally me.

Yepyepyep.

And when you can’t frigging see the cars, they appear and disappear at random as they move, the speeds appear to jump around at random, you can’t see a whole car at once, and you just go “fuck it, I’m crossing”. And hope that nobody runs you over or has to pull you out of the way of a bus or something (all of which have happened to me and my friends).

This is why I have no patience for that line parents give about “You just don’t understand my child might run out in traffic.” I’m 34 and I still run out in traffic. Not because I want to, but because it’s the only way sometimes, or because my senses get so screwed up I don’t even know I’m in traffic in the first place. (Or worse, I get fixated on those lines at the middle of the road, or the spinning of the wheels, or the lights on the cars, and then follow those wherever they go.)

See also: Accidentally opening car doors on freeways because my hand sees the door handle and auto-pilot pulls it open. And other adventures in “Intellect has fuck-all to do with autism and road safety.”

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