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7:37am November 10, 2014

Can anyone help me brainstorm dealbreakers in a roommate?

So far I have two:

1. Being evangelical about anyting, from religion to veganism. Basically, I don’t care what they believe, or what lifestyle choices they make, but they do not get to try and push those choices on me, my staff, or my houseguests. Whether that’s Christianity, Buddhism, vegeetarianism, or anything else. I’ve seen it all and it’s never pretty. (My worst experience, believe it or not, was with a guy who kept trying to convert me to Tibetan Buddhism, and then insisted that because he helped me around the house, it was my duty to print out religious materials for him in return. All the while trying to coerce me into reading various religious texts, and telling me to do things certain ways “because the Dalai Lama says to do it that way” even when the context made it nonsensical.)

2. Intolerance (tumblr just erased a huge bunch of stuff). Basically, for lack of a better word, intolerance of my religion/spirituality, genderlessness, and sexuality. Again, not agreeing with it is one thing, but actively pushing against it is another.

Also keep in mind that this is for a live-in caregiver who would be doing household chores in exchange for room and board. They aren’t allowed to do medical chores. Requiring them to do medical chores would be a dealbreaker on their end. I’ll still be getting medical services from the same places I already do.

But I know there are other things that would be dealbreakers on my end, I just can’t seem to access those parts of my brain right now, so if anyone could help me out. These have to be things where, if they happened, would necessitate a serious serious talk, and if that didn’t work, then making them leave. Or else, a serious talk and then not letting them start to begin with. I am trying to write something up to warn them, so I don’t want it to be filled with lots of nitpicky things, I just want to cover the big stuff.

Notes:
  1. orange-icebreaker said: Littering their stuff everywhere
  2. strangestructures reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    I got the feeling that you need a lot of down-time, so a flatmate who expects a lot of company / socializing from you...
  3. maikisan said: Ditto the passive aggressiveness. I can compromise on almost anything, but only if person tells me instead of being increasingly unhelpful and abusive instead of just communicating.
  4. madeofpatterns reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    Speaking for you
  5. ischemgeek reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    Another dealbreaker for me based on life experience: Passive-aggressiveness. I cannot deal with people who are...
  6. glorious-spoon said: Also, maybe the corollary of ‘don’t evangelize’, taking things that are important to me lightly. Laughing at things I care about. Making me feel weird and small because of my interests and ideas and the things I love.
  7. glorious-spoon said: I think for me a lack of respect for privacy is a serious thing. It might be different for other people, but I need a lot of time to myself, I don’t like being touched, I don’t like people going through my things.
  8. mindyourstories said: Do you have any noise requirements? What about having groups of people visit, or partners sleeping over? Pets? Drinking?
  9. vensre said: Because of an absurdly sharp sense of smell and asthma, my roommate dealbreaker would be smoking.
  10. withasmoothroundstone posted this