as small as a world and as large as alone

9:25pm November 22, 2014

My Father’s Burial

This is the letter I got from my mother about my father’s burial. He didn’t want a funeral, just a simple burial in a pine box in a small cemetery in the mountains. And that’s what he got. This email from my mother was what made me finally break down and bawl so hard I got a sinus headache. She gave me permission to use her words and pictures as long as I redacted all the names except Ron’s. So here goes, and be warned, it’s about death and burials and cemeteries:

Today was the burial and the day started crisp and cold with temperatures hovering around 30 degrees. I drove to the parking lot near the campground directly below the cemetery early enough to let Daisy and Kodiak have a nice walk along the river. Then I put them in the car and went up into the cemetery before anyone else came.

The sun was just coming up over the mountain across the river and I sat on a brick ledge and enjoyed the warmth.

The sun threw long shadows across the cemetery. It was both beautiful and peaceful.

Last night I baked one of Ron’s favorite cookies, Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip and Walnut, and put them in large containers to give to those who had helped with this endeavor. I also brought a copy of my poem to him to give to them along with thanks. The people who were there were all from the family this cemetery belongs to and were there to help bring up the pine box and Ron to his final resting place.

[Redacted] had dressed up and put on his military service hat out of respect. I smiled when I noted quite a long rustic knife in a sheath on his belt. [Redacted] was there too as he is the caretaker and cousin to [Redacted] as they co-own the cemetery and are cousins. [Redacted] was the one who gave his permission for Ron to be buried there. [Redacted] from the chapel, also a cousin was there with the pine box and Ron. [Redacted]’s wife [Redacted] had asked permission to also come. She was able to tell me some extra historical information about Ron’s actual plot.

[Redacted] on the left end…[Redacted] with his back to us…Chapel owner [Redacted] facing us and [Redacted] the one who hand dug Ron’s grave on the right end. All have family here. All are old except for [Redacted] and so this was not a small feat for them…hand carrying Ron up the hill. IT required a lot of resting along the way.

They were very dedicated…..very respectful ……

[Redacted] having done this before was the strategist….

[Redacted] in the blue coat this side is the brother of my artist friend [Redacted] who lives in [Redacted].

You can see how winded these elderly men got doing this. All admired the craftsmanship of the box itself and I think from my stories admired the occupant as well.

They loved most that he loved nature so much and was a good father and husband. THey are putting the box on straps so they can lower it into the ground. [Redacted] and I had to caution them or I am afraid we would have lost one or more to losing their footing and falling in to the site.
The edges were soft.

This morning I gathered five daisies from our garden…one for each of our 10 married years together…5x10=50 :) also some oregano and french lavender and wrapped a red ribbon signifying love. This I put on the box as it was lowered into the ground.

I do have video of that part I will share another time. When the box was in the ground everyone gathered around the grave. I said I wanted to say a few words and repeat them here.

“We his family commit Ron’s body to the ground.
Earth to earth, dust to dust, ashes to ashes.
May Goodness bless him and keep him.
May Love absorb him and it’s grace give him peace.”

I will now read three tankas written by our daughter Amelia.“

Spectrolite Eulogy

spectrolite looks brown
but shines rainbow colors when
the light hits it right.

you were plain brown rock with
hidden colors no one saw.

Goodbye Father

I dropped a rock
Into the world’s deepest lake
Turned and walked away

Until I dropped that rock
Never had I said goodbye

Love and the Ocean

just one drop of rain
fell into the wide ocean
dissolved into the sea

Ron dissolved into Love
where Love is, so too is Ron

I looked up then to find that every man had tears in his eyes and [Redacted] was openly weeping.

Your words Amelia, while written and read for your father had profound effect on grown men seasoned by war. Never under estimate how words can touch a heart.

I thanked all for coming and we all walked down together. I was given yet another rock found three feet into Ron’s campsite.

Kodiak and Daisy were in the car and together we drove to Happy Camp. Later coming back I saw [Redacted] and [Redacted] on the hillside diligently shoveling in to fill up the grave.

They promised to leave a flat area on one side I think so I can come back with a chair whenever I want. I am glad for that. There is a temporary marker there with his name and dates that will stay there until a permanent stone is designed and fashioned.

I felt your father would have approved of everything done today.

It was the simple burial he wanted.

Thanks to each one of you his wishes were realized…
Heartfelt thanks, Mom

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