as small as a world and as large as alone

10:33pm December 28, 2014

bittersnurr:

Sometimes I see disabled people who can support themselves with art being treated like “good” disabled people because they aren’t on welfare and I just.

It’s really frustrating.

Like I know my art SHOULD be worth something. I’m a lot better at it then a lot of people who DO make money, but for reasons that are 90% of the time boiled down to “knows someone” I don’t. So I am doing art for free, and am considered a leech for not getting paid. It doesn’t matter that I am putting the hours and work in, I didn’t get paid, so it, it must not be worth anything.

I am a bad disabled person not because I don’t work, but because no one is paying me for it. 

Art is only worth what other people decided it is, and so am I.

(both me and my art are worthless)

Yeah I don’t know how Larry Bissonnette manages to do it.  He’s a local artist, very well-known around here.  Also autistic.  He has two movies about his life, My Classic Life As An Artist, and Wretches and Jabberers.  And he’s absolutely the quintessential eccentric Old Vermonter (he was quite flattered when I told him that he’s the most Vermontish person I’ve ever met).  And he manages to make a living off his art.  I know that my art is as good as his, but I am not a Big Name Artist or even a Medium Name Artist so that’s not happening.  Plus I rely on too many systems that would drop away if I was employed, yay work disincentives!

But I do sometimes wish I could make a living off of my art.  But it’s one of those pipe dreams that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon.

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