8:53pm February 16, 2015

Writing problem #248

In the daytime, I am too tired from not sleeping the night before, so I can’t write much.

In the nighttime, I am trying to train myself to sleep at night, so I can’t write much.

I am not only hypergraphic but the entire package – compulsive creativity, i’ve heard it called Dostoyevsky’s Syndrome but I’ve also heard it called other things (and I’ve heard other things called Dostoyevsky’s syndrome). It’s often associated with temporal lobe epilepsy. And if I can’t create, including write, I feel horrible all the time.

So I end up breaking down and creating when I shouldn’t, which makes me feel lousy from lack of sleep. Or I end up sleeping when I should, which makes me feel lousy from lack of creativity. (I create best at night because it’s the only time of day I can guarantee to be alone, but can still get help in 5 minutes at the touch of a button or the tripping of a number of different safety alarms throughout the house.)

This is why I want:

A 36-hour day
That my circadian clock, such as I have, is actually attuned to (which it isn’t, now)
12 hours daytime, 24 hours nighttime, half of night for creativity, half for sleep.