as small as a world and as large as alone

1:14am April 1, 2015

Transgender day of visibility.

Mel, age 34, genderless.

Pronouns in order of preference from most to least:

sie hir hir hirs hirself
ze zer zem zers zerself OR xe xyr xem xyrs sense of
they their them theirs themself

If you can’t do any of those, I won’t be offended. Use whichever words you can. I have a disability where pronoun problems (that go way beyond gender) are part of the diagnostic criteria in some editions. I can’t make myself offended if you just can’t do it. My closest friend in the world can only call me her.

But if you’re deliberately misgendering me, that’s another story and I will be pissed.

Also, assigning me any gender at all is misgendering me, please keep that in mind. I didn’t ask to lack an internal sense of gender (from childhood onward) and it took a lot of soul searching to even dare visibility on this issue. (As someone else put it, don’t I have enough going on without this?) But visibility is important, so here I am being visible.

Also I’m not a trans man, butch, or transmasculine. Nor trans woman, femme, our transfeminine. I benefit from transmisogyny but that doesn’t make me a guy. Lots of nonbinary and genderless people, if AFAB, benefit from transmisogyny. Keep that in mind regardless of your real or assigned gender or lack thereof. Also keep in mind that genderless people are rarely trying to “present as” a gender at all, even a “third gender”, no matter what we look like to you.

The clothing is my father’s mostly. He died in November and sent me lots of his clothing. I’m wearing it in mourning and to honor him and what he meant to me. I have no idea when I’ll stop but I’ve been wearing it every day since he died. I can’t cope very well with stress right now – in addition to my father’s death I have severe adrenal insufficiency and have been sick and hospitalized and delirious recently. If you try to push my buttons, I won’t bother to respond, just plonk you in the ignore bucket. With adrenal insufficiency, physical and emotional stress can have life threatening consequences. And I can’t put my continued existence below arguing with you on my priority list.

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