Theme
6:39am April 4, 2015
alljustletters asked: i love the locket? charm? necklace you wear in your tdov photoset, could you tell me about it?

When my father was dying of cancer (it metastasized too many places for them to figure out where it originated, and the goal was to buy him enough time to live and settle his affairs). I write a lot of poetry to cope with everything.

Much of the poetry mentioned wishing I could sit on his lap and play with his beard, one of our first ways of interacting. So before he died, he asked my mom to shave oat of guys beard and send it to me.

I put some of it in a stainless steel (because I corrode most other metals) floating locket and trimmed some stray hairs sticking out. Now it feels like he’s always with me, both a source of love and strength.

If you read The Five Ways We Grieve, I’m very strongly a Memorialist and also somewhat of a Seeker:

Nomads, who have not yet resolved their grief and don’t often understand how their loss has affected their lives

Memorialists, who are committed to preserving the memory of their loved ones by creating concrete memorials and rituals to honor them

Normalizers, who are committed to re-creating a sense of family and community

Activists, who focus on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or issues that caused their loved one’s death

Seekers, who adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives

…And this is definitely my Memorialist side coming out strongly. Not just the locket but the clothes, keeping his rocks in my pocket, etc.

Notes:
  1. vladdraculea said: What a lovely way to remember your father. :) (smilie) Re the 5 ways we grieve, I am foremost a Seeker and secondly a Normalizer, where grieving the loss of a love-filled childhood is concerned.
  2. alljustletters said: that is very lovely, thank you a lot for sharing
  3. withasmoothroundstone posted this