as small as a world and as large as alone, fierceawakening: in-alptraum-verloren: ...

9:49pm April 16, 2015

in-alptraum-verloren:

fierceawakening:

autisticfandomthings:

actuallyautisticcole:

greencarnations:

purplekecleon:

I’m really tired of seeing people broken up into labels of absolutes.
People are not just “good” or “bad”.
People are not a list of labels.
People are complex, situations are complex.
I know, that makes it a lot harder when you want to just write off everything someone’s ever done as bad – but that’s not how people actually are, and it would do everyone good to stop pretending they are.
I am tired of hearing about the fear people have in putting themselves out there. And it is a scary thing! Putting yourself out there means subjecting yourself to people who want a really good reason to tear you down, who will jump at the first chance to feel “good” by labeling someone else as “bad”.
I reject this. I reject the idea that there should be fear in speaking up and talking about experiences and trying to reach an understanding of a situation.
I’m unhappy to see people spitefully urging others to cut off ties with their friends under the guise of “well, that person’s just inherently bad, so if you talk to them you’re bad too.” That is fucked up. You definitely have the right to let the friend know you don’t want to hear about whoever troubles you, but you do not at all have the right to decide who their friends should be. This includes guilt trips.
Anyway, just try to be more aware of others. Everyone else is a person like you. They might not have the same experiences as you. They might not understand how their words are harmful, or how what they’re doing is wrong. They certainly won’t if you never tell them.
Most people are trying to be good, but they’re going to mess it up sometimes. Try to keep that in mind. Even when people do really fucked up shit, sometimes they are trying to do good. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” and all that.
Nothing gets solved, no growth happens when you put people into a box from which you’ll never let them escape.
Yes, you absolutely must be careful about people who have tendencies and patterns that are harmful to you. Sometimes people try to overcome those patterns and they fail, and you have to distance yourself from them: that is the sad reality of life. Sometimes though, they can overcome it. But they certainly won’t if the first thing you do is write them off after a fuck up.
Be sincere. Use your best judgment.

except purplekecleon is a known repeated abuser and this is a Certified Bad Post

OK, so, I’ve been doing some reading on this, and it does seem like there isn’t any clear evidence either way.
And seriously, would you care to explain the certification process for this?
Like, this makes some very good points about some thought patterns people get into, and none of that is negated by the fact that they may be an abuser.
I mean, if this was a TERF type ‘men shouldn’t do this thing’ and it turns out OP actually meant trans women that’s a good reason for me to take it down.
I’m not particularly keen on this whole thing where we aren’t allowed to reblog unrelated stuff made by someone who may or may not have done a bad thing.
I don’t think it’s productive, it doesn’t really seem to get us anywhere, and it seems more about ideological purity than anything else.

“This is a certified bad post” is also a really bad way to get people who liked this post to doubt the person who made it.

Also, regardless of whether purplekecleon did or didn’t abuse people doesn’t make the advice bad advice. A murderer telling other people they shouldn’t murder people doesn’t make the advice null and void. Makes them a hypocrite, but that doesn’t alter the validity of what they said.

Careful, Riou. Someone might think you actually think abusers are people.
(I’ve looked at the call out post though, and there are A LOT of things in it where I really question there’s an obvious bad guy.)