6:45am
June 1, 2015
I once had a shrink recommend that I start wearing makeup as a sign I’m taking care of myself, at about 15
which is one of the reason I get a bit touchy about tumblr’s obsession with constantly praising girls with more “feminine” interests as helpessly put down by those tomboyish girls, who are all a bunch of no-fun meaniepants internalized misogynists.
(It’s not ghastly oppression, no, and there are stereotypes against girls who are into makeup/fashion, but you can’t pretend that one style isn’t definitely socially preferred.)
It is a mystery to me where this thing came from that tomboys have this oppressive social power over conventionally feminine girls.
We definitely have some social advantage in some contexts. But on average, we often just lack social support from both men and women.
A lot of girls decided that we weren’t like other girls because other girls actually treated us like shit and were mostly socially condoned in it.
Oh, and it wasn’t my own femininity that other girls taught me to hate.
I actually had more than one mental health professional get concern trolly at me over not wearing as much makeup or dressing like they thought I should in my teens, as a sign of depression or whatever.
And that’s when I was actively trying to do a more femme presentation than has ever felt like me. It didn’t even slow down the harassment in school, like I was hoping. It obviously wasn’t good enough for certain adults in positions of power, either. :-|
It’s weird how the teasing over gender stuff doesn’t stop when you look feminine. I wore skirts and lots of jewelry and long hair and stuff in high school and still remember being asked “are you a she-male?” and also witnessing a debate over whether I had a penis, as well as being cautioned that people “might think you’re a lesbian” (and at that age that perception has more to do with gender presentation than sexuality), and that’s just off the top of my head.
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