1:48pm June 5, 2015

If I wanted to fake autism.

If I wanted to fake autism it would go like this:

1. I would use an online alias that had nothing to do with my real name. I would probably claim to be in a location far removed from my actual location as well.

2. I would not make waves politically within the autistic community or elsewhere.

3. I would say that my autistic traits were exactly the same ones that, say, Simon Baron-Cohen expects. I would not claim to have any unusual traits at all, nor even any of the usual traits that were likely to be misunderstood as unusual.

4. I would look at the autistic community and what traits people had there, and would pick those traits to emphasize. I would de-emphasize any traits that were considered highly unusual in that community. I would learn what things to say so that I would not stand out.

5. I would not challenge stereotypes. I would uphold as many stereotypes as I could, in fact.

6. I might loudly complain about fakers. Some of the only people I’ve ever suspected of faking, have loudly complained about autism fakers, and most people don’t seem to realize why – that it’s so that they’re themselves not suspected.

I would probably not do anything that would get me branded LFA, because that gets too much attention to you. My intent would be to blend in as much as possible.

So if you really want to look for autism fakers? Which I do not suggest you should do, but this is where you would look. You will find more fakers among the people who fit all the stereotypes, blend in the best and stuff, rather than among people who stick out like a sore thumb, are always challenging stereotypes, and are very outspoken. But I’m sure the real fakers, the ones who are doing it deliberately, are really happy that you’re focused on me and others like me who are just as autistic as anyone else, but who make good targets because of some aspect of our present or our pasts. If you actually cared about looking for fakers you’d look among the people who don’t stand out. But you don’t care about looking for fakers. All you care about is targeting me, because in your eyes I make a good target and you are a bully.

(Yes, you. If you send me anon hate accusing me of making stuff up for attention, saying you’re ashamed to be considered autistic if I’m also considered autistic, all the rest of that stuff, then you are a bully and need to take a long hard look at yourself before you go judging others.)

Why am I talking about this stuff? Because somebody has to. And because I’m secure enough in who I am to know that whatever a bully calls me, doesn’t mean it’s true, no matter how many times and in how many ways they repeat the same old tired bullshit. I just hope they feel good about hurting autistic people. Because I’m not the only one hurt when they bully me.

Other people contact me all the time saying they have stories similar to mine and are afraid to talk about them publicly because of how I’ve ben treated by bullies. So every time someone calls me fake they’re hurting these other people too. Some of them are hurt very badly by this, so badly that they won’t come into the autistic community for fear of being targeted. Not that they need worry that much. I’m not being targeted because of those traits. I’m being targeted because I am me. The stuff about me being fake is bullshit and the bullies know full well it’s bullshit, most of them, they just know it’s an effective tool for propagating negative ideas about me. But I am targeted mostly because of who I am, not because of anything I’ve actually done. If I were targeted for what I had done, then people who’d done the same things, who said directly to the bullies, “Hey, I’ve done that same thing too, why aren’t you targeting me?” would get targeted , instead of getting total silence.

So if you’re a bystander wondering about all this, wonder why practically nobody just like me gets targeted to the same degree I do. Except when they have been singled out as a person too. At that point they may be targeted. But they won’t be targeted for having the exact same traits that bullies target in me, in fact bullies love showing me it’s all about me, by looking straight at people like me and then turning back to me and telling me I’m fake and these other people just like me aren’t.

Notes: