2:58am June 10, 2015

To anyone who is questioning their romantic/sexual orientation and/or gender

guapet:

laurbierosey:

Remember: Feelings first, labels later.

And if you decide to not label yourself or your label changes? That’s okay, too. Just keep feeling.

i had so many problems with pre-defined labels when i began exploring my identity that had been repressed for so long. not that they didn’t give me a handle, but that i frequently found myself struggling to fit the description, rather than letting the description fit me.
if i ever sound flippant about labels, my apologies, and i never mean it as a “they’re 100% useless” kind of thing. they are useful for uncovering aspects of yourself and making connections to others with similar experiences, but they can quickly become limiting.

Yeah, labels can be really useful!
But they aren’t the same thing as what actually exists, they’re words to describe what exists. So if you find the labels aren’t describing what you are experiencing - that’s ok. It happens a lot. You can pay attention to what you are living even if there isn’t a name for it.

Yes. You can also come up with your own words, as I did when I coined the rather awkward sounding nongendered before settling on genderless for ease of usage.

And you don’t have to obey anyone else’s definitions of a label. There are people who say you can’t be a genderless lesbian, and others who assume all genderless lesbians are genderless for political reasons. Which I’m very much not. They then assume that we must oppose trans women’s presence in the lesbian community. No again. Absolutely for any woman trans or cis who identifies as a lesbian being part of the community, as well as some nonbinary people who find it’s the closest fit for us. But people are so hair trigger about some of these labels I barely care talk about them at times. Until there’s a community for genderless people attracted entirely to women and nonbinary people, and the women we are attracted to, lesbian will remain the best fit. The lesbian and gay communities both – some parts anyway– have a long history of providing shelter for people of varying gender identities as well.

Notes: