6:03am
July 5, 2015
Adult Life Tip
Did you know you can buy those cakes at the grocery store without it being your birthday or any celebratory thing? Like you can just walk in and grab a cake and buy it and nobody’s gonna say anything. You can even walk in and get like one of those little kid batman themed cakes (or character of your choice depending on availability) and everyone there is just gonna assume that it’s totally for some small child in your life and meanwhile you get a batman cake all to yourself. Yeah, it’s not gonna be a super fantastic cake since it’s just from the grocery store, but that’s not the point. The point is cake. Cake.
I remember when I discovered that I could buy one of those chocolate creme samplers all for myself for no reason whatsoever, same with cookie dough. It was a revelation.
These days, I can’t eat things without serious consequences (anything I eat has to be possible to drain out of a g-tube quickly, otherwise I get really sick and could even die in the wrong circumstances, not exaggerating) but there was a time when this information would’ve been really cool to know. Right now my food intake is limited to soup broth, and only certain kinds of soup broth at that, so things are different. Plus, I like umami flavors so much more than sweet ones – the older I get the more true that becomes. If I ate the same amount of sugar I could eat as a kid, I’d get sick in ways that have nothing at all to do with my gastroparesis and everything to do with the weird way that kids vs. adults process sugar. Which must suck if you have a serious sweet tooth but your body has changed how much sugar it can handle at a time.
Right now pretty much the only time I crave sugar is when my steroid dose increases at the same time that I miss part of a tube feeding for some reason. That combination makes me go “need sugar NOWWWWWWWWW”. But other than that, sugar actually feels vaguely repulsive a lot of the time. Still, I sort of wish I’d known about this soon after I started getting my first paychecks of my own, because it would’ve been cool to have a cake entirely to myself once in awhile. And I never, ever thought of buying one.
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