as small as a world and as large as alone

2:53pm July 20, 2015

fierceawakening:

the thing about all this “out yourself so we know what you are” thing is

it’s not about protecting anyone

it’s about demanding that everyone announce loudly and frequently where they are positioned on all privilege/oppression binaries

because otherwise sj does not know how to treat you

that ain’t about protectin’ shit

Wow that’s said perfectly.

I really, really dislike being pressed to show all of my identities so that people can know how to treat me and whether to listen to me.

And I really, really dislike the words people try to force me to use for my identity.  And the assumptions they make if I don’t use the right ones.

And also that if I have an identity and still say the “wrong” things for someone of that identity, people will call that identity into question anyway no matter what I say.

Not to mention that revealing some things is very vulnerable both emotionally and in terms of literal physical safety.  

And when people reveal an identity of their own, not to share information, but to accuse people of something.

(”You just told a ________ person to _________.”  Sometimes that phrasing is alright, sometimes it’s a form of manipulative backstabbing.)

It bothers me that I’m scared to talk about specific instances of any of these things, for fear that I’ll just bring back the hostility I’ve already gotten.  That in saying “I was unfairly judged”, I will be unfairly judged all over again.  Because this has happened already many times.

But then I get private messages from people who have trouble with this stuff too, and realize someone’s got to step out there and say things. 

Sorry not all of this is relevant to the OP but thread drift, etc.

223 notes