1:13pm August 3, 2015

Well that was weird.

I introduced a staff person to Dead Like Me, and she told me to watch Wristcutters: A Love Story.

So I did.

And midway through the movie, it reminded me of this dream I’d had. And then I predicted something that happened at the very end of the movie (she wouldn’t tell me whether I was right or not, but I was).

And even further in, I recognized more and more of it from this dream.

And now I’m certain that I must have watched it while delirious or something and it encoded itself into my brain as a dream, because everything I remember seems to mean I’ve seen it before, but I don’t remember it as a movie, I remember it as if I was in it.

And when I was delirious, I’d often get sucked into the things I read or watched, and feel as if I was inside them. Last time I was hospitalized, during one of the worst periods of my delirium I was reading a bunch of ebooks by Donna Williams, and suddenly I was there in those events and I was actually Donna and it got very, very strange.

She was only the first of a long string of real people that my brain decided were actually me – there was even a point where I was my own mother, and my own grandmother, and my own child (I don’t have children). The weirdest of the lot was when my brain decided I was Julian of Norwich. Although as a friend pointed out, Julian and I at least had in common that we’d had seemingly genuine spiritual experiences while otherwise delirious.

Delirium is weird.