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3:40am January 1, 2012

Was going to work on stuff tonight.

Got a migraine.

Used meds to blow back the migraine to a lesser severity.

Still couldn’t read much text off a screen, but could function. Kind of.

Got invited to a friends for Hoppin John and cornbread and collards.

Good food but lots, lots, lots of grease.

Endured fireworks I could feel in my body as they went off. Knew Fey must be hiding under the bed.

Stayed up until friend went to bed, so she wouldn’t fall asleep before she got to her bipap.

Back home.

Back hurts. Ribs hurt. Neck hurts. Face hurts. Joints in general hurt. Various nerves hurt. Not sure how all of this happened but utterly worn out. Probably because even though my wheelchair tilts me back until I’m effectively lying down, it’s still not bed. And I must have used some emergency reserves to stay out of bed that long. Because I just feel like a worn-down floppy sock or something – pain and exhaustion everywhere.

Weird as this may sound, though. Don’t mistake this for unhappiness. I may not want pain and exhaustion but at this level, while it impairs functioning a good deal, I’m not particularly miserable. People who don’t experience this in the particular ways I and some other people do, can have trouble decoupling emotional misery from physical, but they are somewhat separate. Not wholly, but enough to confuse people. Right now, physically I’m miserable, emotionally I’m not bad at all.

Now time to try to sleep, myself, and hope it works.

Notes:
  1. withasmoothroundstone posted this