2:21pm November 9, 2010

Nerve block day

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Of course detached from my body well enough not to move or make noise throughout the whole procedure. Had my case manager witness this (her words: “I had no idea it was so invasive”) in case she ever needs to speak up on my behalf when people see lack of outward behavior as lack of severe pain on my part. (An assumption that’s nearly killed me several times.) Not that I never show pain. It depends on my situation and on what kind of pain, and often I do show it just in atypical ways.

Right now my guess is I’m showing it the same way I often show overload, terror, and so forth: By my facial expressions and body language going even flatter than usual, matching various “lack of movement when movement is expected” stereotypes more than usual. I’ve had increased communication problems as well, I’ve had three people in a row misunderstand something I said. I’m also freezing more and having trouble crossing boundary lines more. I’m glad to be in bed where all of this won’t matter for the next few hours.