as small as a world and as large as alone

8:55pm January 29, 2012

It’s really hard to go in the kitchen and get pudding for my meds. Normally I don’t have to but due to staff screwing up I did. Normally I can’t make it even when I have to. And have to push the button to get the overnight people here. This time I managed it. But.

I was carrying a spoon to the kitchen.

And before I knew it, the spoon was banging on every available surface, all over the kitchen and also on my body.

And I was getting lost and kind of dizzy. And it’s hard to maintain thought under circumstances like that. Normally it gets lost in all the spoon banging or whatever else is going on.

Also spoon kept going over my eye like those spoon shaped things eye doctors use.

Took me forever to focus on getting the pudding. And actually use the spoon for its intended purpose. And do all the crap that needed to be done.

And my hand didn’t want to let go of the spoon even though it’s not safe for the cat to leave a medication-crusted spoon out. So I had to convince my hand to let go of its death grip on the thing.

I don’t think I feel well. Not because of that. Just because of how things are behaving. I suspect pain but I can’t tell for sure.

And like even the motion of typing on my iPod is hard and unpleasant.

Damn. Left hand quit working. WTF.