9:58pm March 17, 2012

Remind me…

If any of you see me, in the next few weeks (minimum), trying to do some event like last night. Online or offline. Some big stressful thing.

Please remind me that I’d kind of resolved to stay out of exhausting activities, physically and emotionally. Like not force, just a reminder.

Because ever since the hospital in August I have had so little energy that these things are actively dangerous. And not just a little dangerous.

Aside from muscles turning into noodles this morning. I just experienced something really weird, where my body from literally one second to the next was suddenly pouring sweat and in physical agony. I’m typing this through a pretty serious haze of pain, the type that makes the world go off into the distance. My body is fucked up and my internal “you’d better damn well be careful” sensors (which generally only go off when something could turn life-threatening) are all bleeping loudly.

So yeah. It was a stupid thing for me to do last night. I asked my friend “What the hell was I…” and she said “That’s exactly it. You weren’t thinking.” So… yeah.

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