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11:20pm March 29, 2012

Does anyone know any good resources on how to stop dermatillomania or trichotillonania?

Therapy is out of the question. So are most drugs, although I’m going to probably try a supplement that had some good effect for around half of the people with trich who tried it. (And which seems the most promising anyway. And it’s one I’d been meaning to try for physical stuff anyway.)

I may also try to figure out what the better therapies are meant to address and do them at home. But I can’t see an actual shrink.

And don’t tell me anything about the stuff on Wikipedia that they’ve described doing to people with developmental disabilities. They’re not only offensive beyond belief, as well as ineffective, they’re triggering as hell because several such things were tried on me in mental institutions. (Like tying hospital socks over my hands in a way that prevented me getting them off.)

I don’t have trich (although I used to rip out hair for other reasons) but the mechanics of the two are so similar that I’d be willing to try ideas that work for people with trich. Trich is better researched despite being less dangerous unless you eat the hair.

I’ve got to find a way to stop. Or at least a way to reduce it. Due in part to what was done to me in institutions, I’ve taken to mostly picking areas of my body that are well hidden. I spend hours doing nothing but ripping layers of skin out of my ears. I know that if I get an infection in that area it could become incredibly dangerous.

And I can’t seem to stop. Reading about trich, there seem to be two main patterns. I have both of them. I pick without realizing I pick. But I also pick because of this weird emotional cycle that goes on. When I try to stop, it just happens anyway. I’ve read that the brains of people who pick show trouble in areas that involve inhibiting motor actions. I believe it. I’ll keep doing it even when I try to stop. Sometimes trying to stop makes it worse. Or I’ll stop picking my ears and then discover I’ve pulled a toenail off. If I get surgery I can force myself to only pick areas that are not the incision, but that’s really hard, and I can’t actually stop altogether.

I’m getting desperate. I don’t mind the scarring but the infection risk with my ears and nose scares me. And yet I’ll sit here spending hours ripping off skin and lining it up on my pillow before throwing it out. I just can’t work out how to stop. Any tips from people who actually experience these things would be welcome.