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1:56pm April 4, 2012

Starting to apply stuff from the book

I’ve been reading the book on trich and trying to apply it to my picking. The advice feels deeply right. In all the wrong ways – as in it’s stuff I kind of knew I had to work on, but was putting off. But it’s clearly time to quit pissing and moaning about what I already know I have to do, and actually do it. Easier said than done of course.

The very first thing I have to do may be the hardest. I have to accept that I may never be able to stop picking. And I have to quit being really emotionally invested in stopping. And in a way I have to stop focusing on stopping. Because focusing on stopping sets up a vicious cycle that actually makes it worse. I have to stop worrying about future consequences of picking, and getting obsessed with how bad it was that I just picked really badly or something. Because in order to stop, you have to be focused on the present.

All of that sounds exactly like what I already knew would have to happen. But it sounded impossible. Now, I’m not so sure. Because it feels like some of these changes are already trying to happen. I keep thinking it can’t be this easy. And maybe it isn’t. But when I woke up this morning, I had far more of the right attitude towards this stuff than I started with. I’m far more easygoing about it all than I have been. Hopefully I’m at least pointed in the right direction now.