10:11am April 10, 2012

It all had to happen at once.

So my plan to avoid blockages has always been this:

Take 17 g of Miralax twice a day. If I do not have an adequate bowel movement in one day, double the dose. If that doesn’t work, use an enema.

Even that doesn’t consistently prevent blockages and I frequently go long periods doubling the dose. Especially lately when I’ve had worse constipation.

So it turns out my prescription is only for the minimum amount. Medicare is refusing to refill it until I would run out of it if I were taking that minimum amount. I’m going to run out today.

I can get blockages when I’m doubling the dose let alone with nothing. None of the usual alternatives work for me. Like prune juice. When I was in a group home I literally was doing five or six different constipation treatments and still ending up in the ER. Including a memorable incident where they stuck an entire hand up my ass and dug it out with no pain control whatsoever. (My father stood in front of me and told me to punch him over and over so I wouldn’t punch the nurse. That’s like… what a real father does.)

And apparently Miralax is different because it doesn’t work the same way as a real laxative so you can safely do it long term. It’s also expensive and I have no money to spare this month. I have to get Fey her shots and I have to pay a fee to install my air conditioner. Which is vital in the summer even with the other one in my bedroom. Especially if I don’t want staff to get heat exhaustion working in the kitchen.

So that’s all going on.

And I woke up this morning unable to straighten my right arm without intense pain. And I’m saying intense pain as someone who can sit through people injecting stuff right under one of the most sensitive nerves in my body without making a sound or making faces. I’m the only patient they have who can do that.

I’ve put ice on it among other things and none of it is helping. The pain is right on the inside of my elbow. Which is amazing that I can localize it that well. It hurts even when I don’t straighten it but when I do it’s excruciating.

Just… fuck today. I’ll gladly skip it and take tomorrow instead. :-P

3 notes