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6:58pm April 22, 2012

I feel like shit.

Because this is my weekend staff person’s last shift. Ever. And I haven’t said a word to her about it.

And I feel guilty even though I know it can be dangerous to let someone know, when I’m going to be alone with them in the future. Because in the disability world, “staff"refers to someone with tremendous power over you. And I’ve had people turn scary on me when they find out they’re fired.

And this person needs to be fired. Because she can’t stop herself from making mistakes that could actually pose a hazard to me. Even after being told to be careful.

And they’re often things nobody could be prepared for – like continuing to pour water into my mini crock pot over and over shift after shift until it was literally overflowing all over the place – right above a power strip. It’s impossible to foresee things like that even when you know the person makes that kind of mistake.

And the mistakes are also things she seems to do really well at and then all of a sudden she doesn’t. Unfortunately that includes medication errors. :-/ Which is why we are not even waiting for a replacement, and they’re considering firing her from the agency, not just from working for me.

I know all that and I still feel like shit.