7:59pm June 7, 2012

It would be interesting if…

Books like the Young Wizards series could tackle the subject of being aware that everything is, in a sense, alive, and being in a culture that tries to treat everything as either dead or partially dead compared to humans.

When that happens to me for too long, this horrible feeling settles on me like a murky cloud. Cloud of smog or something, because real clouds don’t depress me like that. And it makes me feel horribly detached and disconnected, even as I’m aware that it’s an illusion. And that’s how I’ve felt the past few days and it makes me want to cry. I am having trouble even forcing myself to look at the same pictures that otherwise cause a great sense of connection to things.

You get these messages every day that say you’re wrong, the world is dead, or not even dead because death is a part of life. And you get them from practically every direction except the world itself. And even as the world is conveying to you how alive every part of it is, all the men in grey (Momo reference) are telling you otherwise.

Meh. I hope things get better. This is hard. I just keep seeing a great story in this, about the way the Lone Power works through specific societies to demoralize people who know the world is more than this. Can’t wait to see the end where it is fought off again.

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