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6:19am December 1, 2012

Thoughts that keep me up at night.

Will I ever be able to do the “Am I a person, yet?” video and/or writing project I’ve been meaning to do for years? Or will I be too stuck in one of the cognitive states the project addresses (“I have this and that cognitive/perceptual/etc. limitation [that I have experienced at some point in my life, if not always]… am I a person yet?”) to ever finish the damn project? It was hard enough to write it when I had a lot more brainpower to work with.

Maybe some of the fear comes from being so thoroughly unpersonned at the hospital while seriously cognitively impaired. There’s this fear that I’m trying to get these ideas across for the protection of all kinds of people, including myself, and wondering if enough other people are trying to get these ideas across, that when I need them, in my own life, they’ll be there.

I don’t need to be kept up at night right now though. I need to sleep before the nausea meds wear off. So I’m going to not think about this right now.