as small as a world and as large as alone

2:40pm January 5, 2013

ER yesterday. They found nothing awful so went home. But felt like truck ran over me. Later brain fell apart and got confused and incoherent and floppy and had to be accompanied to bedroom to make sure I actually got in bed.

Enraged that ER doctors so often fail to see blatant effects of cognitive impairment – I mean stuff they would normally test for in even the most cursory tests – because they don’t expect me to be able to think, so any evidence of thought proves I’m really sharp even though anyone would know I wasn’t at the time. This is how I never get treated for delirium no matter how obvious it is when hospitalized. All day yesterday I was disoriented and they didn’t notice because they thought it was normal for me. But that thing that happened at night was even worse, not just some disorientation but total incoherence and that blankness thing.

Today I feel weird but what’s new.