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9:57am February 20, 2013

➸ "You don't need this junk. You need a cat.": OMFG this is going to be bad. (As in I will likely be puking in a few hours.)

adelenedawner:

youneedacat:

So they want to see exactly how slow my stomach moves and/or what else about it makes me unable to eat. Because despite my requesting it, they never ran this test in the hospital, and I need it in order to narrow down possible treatments.

So they made me stop everything — no food, no meds, no…

It’s probably too late for this to be of any use whatsoever, but I’m pretty sure that the right to refuse treatment includes a right to refuse testing.

Yeah but I can’t get certain treatments without knowing what the test shows. I’m in the middle of the testing right now, and if I throw up once the testing is off, so now I’ve like eaten their bare minimum requirements and am using every single damn residual emetophobia skill I have to keep it down, this is torture though, because I basically have to stay here for hours and get photographed every half hour for a bit then every hour, and I have no idea what my limit is on keeping down this amount of scrambled eggs and I’m afraid I might just find out.

But yeah basically the treatments we are looking at are ones where they need to know for sure precisely what’s happening in there. Plus one thing we are looking for is whether this might show anything of why I’m aspirating so often. So I have no real choice other than to force myself to over perform for this test, and then I’ll be a wreck afterwards, it’s much worse than I expected, I mean not in terms of vomiting yet, but in terms of how bad this feels and in terms of how hard I’m pushing myself just to get through the damn test.