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11:18pm March 3, 2013

So now….

I’ve changed my eating schedule. First meal at around 10 in the morning, one Ensure. Have to fit in three more Ensures by 8 pm. Then if I go to bed by midnight, my risk of aspirating seems likely to be much reduced even when I’m using the bipap.

Problem is daytime is horrible for me. My prime eating time is between 8 pm and midnight. But now I can’t eat then or I could aspirate my food if I went to sleep before 4 in the morning.

I feel like all my conditions are conspiring to give me impossible ultimatums about how to live my life. Conflicting ones. But I don’t see what else to do.

My cold is getting much better.

My bacterial chest infection seems a little better, although I think “better” can’t be a word that applies to coughing up giant green globs. It’s disgusting. And worrisome. However my oxygen level is great except during coughing/wheezing fits.

I’ve now got a yeast infection from antibiotics. Which is expected but annoying.

And every night by 8 I feel terribly sick from trying to drink all that Ensure. And then they make me take my 9 pm meds when I’m sure I can’t handle one more swallow.

My blood clot seems to be clearing. It’s less painful than ever.

I still feel like a wrung out rag, but I guess that’s to be expected. I’m just so intensely looking forward to a period when I will be able to rest and recover without being hit by another crisis. I feel like recently they hit too fast to keep my strength up. Even typing this is tiring.

I found out there was a gastroparesis pacemaker on Grey’s anatomy and I’m really curious, but I can’t make the episode load on YouTube and its not on Netflix yet.