5:01am March 23, 2013

I’m almost crying

I aspirated again. Same time of day as last time. Can’t cry as it would ruin my breathing even more. But this is a big let-down. Don’t know why this happened. Did everything right.

I think my new practices regarding eating help a little. But not enough. This isn’t enough to keep me from getting infections and being on antibiotics more than not, always risking pneumonia, which risks death. People get used to me getting better but there’s always the chance I won’t. And death is… not necessarily scary, but damn inconvenient.