3:01pm March 26, 2013

This is not good.

Every typestroke and the thoughts behind them is so difficult that my meeting with my case manager was almost unbearable. This is a sign of what I call negative spoons, or a sign of approaching them. Which is very bad. Need to call doctor tomorrow and maybe get different antibiotic on top of the ones I’m finishing. That second aspiration really fucked things up – I was already recovering from the first when it happened. Now I’m starting to feel closer to pneumonia often feels, than random lung infection. I’m having really weird dreams, the kind that feel more like fever dreams but without a fever.

(Negative spoons to me isn’t just really low spoons. It’s a specific physical state. But no spoons to describe it now.)

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