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5:17pm March 30, 2013

I swear it seems like they want to add every possible obstacle to me actually, you know, living.

Of course I plan to stay living. And that in itself pisses some of them off. But WTF is so Fing hard about placing a feeding tube that they have to do it in the hardest possible way for someone with autism and gastroparesis!?? (Involving swallowing and keeping down contrast liquid, and a nasogastric tube just for more fun at trying not to rip my own face off trying to get it out.) Meanwhile pushing the day of the procedure forward a little every day and just looking faintly fidgety when I say “Every extra day is a day I could aspirate.” I don’t always know whether to scream at them or cry. Probably neither but they’re maddening beyond belief and I’d say at least half of them don’t care if I’m alive. If not all.