9:23am March 31, 2013

So I get woken up at seven someting innthenmorning

youneedacat:

So that this med student from hell can try to talk me into not having the procedure or something.

What. The actual. Fuck.

Apparently the rationale is that I might as well not do anything because there’s a chance the procedure might not work. Of course there’s a chance it might not work. But this procedure is standard for this particular complication of gastroparesis along with other complications I’m having. I know people with way less severe gastroparesis than me who have this procedure done.

He stopped double talking only when I got my DPA on the phone with him. Then he started telling her how it wouldn’t work. But also how she’d obviously done her research and yes it’s best practice but I shouldn’t do it or I don’t even know what the fucking hell.

He of course is not a gastroparesis expert nor is anyone who’s been consulted on my case. But ever since I was in the emergency room people have recommended exactly this procedure because they saw what was happening and it’s the least invasive option to save my life at the moment. (There are really intense invasive things that can be done if this doesn’t work. I’d rather not start with those, thank you, considering they involve things such as cutting out my entire stomach. Which is permanent. If this procedure doesn’t work it can be reversed. I know all the many ways it might not work both from doing the medical research and looking at people’s actual experiences. It’s still my best fucking bet for not aspirating as often.)

WTF do these people want me to do? Oh yeah I forgot. Retards don’t need feeding tubes. I still remember the way the nurse laughed a little when I said my wishes were for all measures to be taken to save my life. This place is hell. What scares me are all the people without a good advocate to protect them. And they die. I know they die because I know people who quit working here because they couldn’t stand it anymore.

Notes: