as small as a world and as large as alone, goldengray: epochryphal: Yep, this. I id as...

2:54pm April 8, 2013

goldengray:

epochryphal:

Yep, this. I id as gender-neutral, neutrois, and non-binary. I worry it’s internalized sexism, a need to be special (one that gets attacked frighteningly often, especially on queersecrets), dodging larger questions (even if I do think about it all the time)…
Ultimately, my amazing friends remind me: I am my own worst critic and doubter. I would never accuse someone else of using an identity “wrongly” no matter what I suspected their reasons were. Why do I do that to myself? If an identity works for me, if it enables me to live better - that is the purpose of identity. It is a tool.
And as important as it is to be aware of my impact on other people, of how certain statements might be problematic, to be cautious of appropriation of culture, to not invalidate others’ experiences - first and foremost, I have to take care of myself and believe in the validity of my own experiences. And my existence should never be considered problematic.
It takes a lot of work and a lot of being reminded. And, a lot of self-acceptance of process. If I end up identifying as something else down the road, well, it took this road to get there, and everything along the way is real as well. My present feelings, are real. No matter where they came from or where they go.

Emphasis added.

I see myself as non gendered, less as a gender identity, but more as a relative absence of one. It’s slightly more complicated than that but that’s the basic gist for me. Hard to explain to ppl of any gender.

epochryphal:

Yep, this. I id as gender-neutral, neutrois, and non-binary. I worry it’s internalized sexism, a need to be special (one that gets attacked frighteningly often, especially on queersecrets), dodging larger questions (even if I do think about it all the time)…

Ultimately, my amazing friends remind me: I am my own worst critic and doubter. I would never accuse someone else of using an identity “wrongly” no matter what I suspected their reasons were. Why do I do that to myself? If an identity works for me, if it enables me to live better - that is the purpose of identity. It is a tool.

And as important as it is to be aware of my impact on other people, of how certain statements might be problematic, to be cautious of appropriation of culture, to not invalidate others’ experiences - first and foremost, I have to take care of myself and believe in the validity of my own experiences. And my existence should never be considered problematic.

It takes a lot of work and a lot of being reminded. And, a lot of self-acceptance of process. If I end up identifying as something else down the road, well, it took this road to get there, and everything along the way is real as well. My present feelings, are real. No matter where they came from or where they go.

Emphasis added.

I see myself as non gendered, less as a gender identity, but more as a relative absence of one. It’s slightly more complicated than that but that’s the basic gist for me. Hard to explain to ppl of any gender.

Notes: