as small as a world and as large as alone

10:33pm April 28, 2013

josiahd:

chriscolfercalledmesweetie:

josiahd:

misslucy21:

josiahd:

picture is a bop it.

I like bop it. It’s a good toy.

Its existence confuse me, though. If stimming is just an autistic thing, why do toys like this exist as mainstream toys?

(via fuckyeahnostalgia)

I’ve never understood that. I stim all the time. Did as a toddler, did as a kid, did as a teenager, still do now in my 30s. I am not autistic. I’m not neurotypical in many ways, so maybe that’s it, but yeah, I don’t know, either. 

I’m autistic, but the whole category really confuses me. It’s just incoherent and confusing.

I stim, and I’m pretty sure I’m not autistic. I’ve noticed that pretty much everyone stims in some way. But some stims are more socially acceptable than other. Like, playing with my pencil is fine, chewing it is a little strange, actually eating bits of pencil and eraser makes people look at me in alarm. And then there’s the way people look at me if I flap my hands (though I try not to do that in public, because I don’t want to be appropriative). Basically, stimming is normal, but the kind of stimming that’s most often done by autistic/otherwise neurodivergent people is the only kind that’s regularly called “self- stimulatory behavior” because everything neurodivergent people do is pathologized.

I think appropriation is a really harmful concept in this context, actually.

I want hand flapping to be socially acceptable. It’s *good* for me if it’s as broadly socially acceptable as possible.

It’s *awful* for me if it’s something only autistic people are allowed to do, because then there’s all this nonsense about who is really autistic enough etc.

When really, just… nothing is wrong with handflapping and I want people to stop pathologizing it.

I completely agree about appropriation being harmful and kind of ridiculous in this context.

I constantly hear horrible things (the people aren’t horrible, that they’ve been taught to think like this is horrible) like:

“I function better in a wheelchair but I can walk [sometimes/most of the time/to some degree/while functioning not as well], so I’m afraid it would be appropriative.”

“I can’t talk and I want to learn sign language, but would that be appropriative towards deaf people?”

“I want to flap my hands but I’m afraid to because it might be appropriative.”

As well as the people (many of whom I consider to be complete assholes, at least in this context, because some of them are doing it for horrible reasons) who actually promote the idea that appropriation, whether they use that word or not, is a really important thing to always be thinking about in the above contexts.

And no no no no no just no please stop NO.

It’s not. It’s a harmful idea. It keeps people from doing things they need to do. It scares people from doing things that ought to be an option for everyone.

Wheelchairs are just a vehicle. I don’t care who uses one. I don’t care if they need one or not. It’s a ridiculously medical idea that people have to qualify in some way, in order to use one. You don’t have to qualify to get a bicycle, and the only qualification for getting a car is being able to drive it, so there’s no reason anyone should have to qualify in order to get a wheelchair. It’s not like they’re a limited resource in the places where they are used the most often, and when they are, it’s because of the way the medical system works, not because they have to be.

I use communication devices and I don’t care who uses them. You should be able to use them if you have a sore throat for a day. Or if you just like to use one. I actually lent one to someone with laryngitis once so she could talk without pain. That’s not appropriation and neither is using one for any reason whatsoever.

I once read something by a very high profile person who pissed me off. She was basically trashing autistic people who could speak but who decided that typing was their real voice. Which is kind of rich coming from her because that’s something she’s said about herself, but I guess it’s different when she does it. She says it is disrespectful to people who could never speak and would give their eye teeth just to be able to do so. But to me that’s a very self pitying way to look at the world, and it scares people into thinking they shouldn’t do these things. But if typing is your voice, do it. Do it whether you can talk or not. Because the most important thing is communicating in the way you’re the most comfortable, so do it and fuck what anyone says. And I’m saying this as a person who used to alternate between speaking and typing, who now types full time and can rarely say anything that has meaning, with my mouth. Anyone who tells you it’s appropriative to communicate in the way you find best, is being selfish and you shouldn’t listen to them.

The same person started also trashing people who went to toy stores and bought stim toys and stuff. The whole idea was that apparently if you discover you’re autistic in adulthood, and suddenly do things that fit who you are, then you must not be for real. Unless you’re the person who was talking about it, who discovered her autism in adulthood herself, but apparently she doesn’t count because she’s for real and all these other people aren’t.

That whole thing really pissed me off because huge numbers of people look up to her, and she was basically saying that people being themselves isn’t okay, unless she personally decides they’re being genuine. Hell even if people aren’t being themselves, even if they’re just trying out things to do, that is okay too. It’s no crime to be confused about your own identity, heaven knows most people are.

These are just not situations where the idea of appropriation makes sense. I hate hearing about appropriation in this context, whether that word is used, or other words are used for the same thing. It reminds me of quads who sometimes say that people with fatigue issues shouldn’t use wheelchairs, because those quads would give anything to be able to walk again. Again, selfish. Trying to influence others into doing things that cause them pain and fatigue, just because you’d rather walk again and if you were them you think you’d never use a wheelchair. Well it’s not about you so shut up and let anyone use a wheelchair who needs or wants it for pretty much any reason. A simple vehicle for getting around shouldn’t have all this medical baggage attached.

Appropriation is people stealing religions from American Indian cultures they don’t belong to, things like that. It is not using a wheelchair, talking by some means other than speech, or flapping your hands. Or if those things ever count as appropriation, it is only in the most limited circumstances, so limited that they barely need mentioning compared to the majority of people who do them and have every right to do them. It’s not that I don’t believe in appropriation, but I think the word is vastly misused in disability contexts, by people who think they are being all radical and stuff for talking about it, when really they are mostly enforcing very medical views of who gets to do what, which is about as radical as a doorknob.

Sorry this just makes me angry because of the amount of people who get scared away from doing this stuff for reasons that are really stupid and often self aggrandizing.

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