7:46pm May 5, 2013

To my neurologist, everything is a migraine.

I’m pretty sure if I sprained my ankle, he’d find a way to call it a migraine.

As far as he concerned, not only are my normal migraine symptoms migraines.

But so is the nerve problem in my neck. Even though it acts like a nerve problem and has some complicated diagnostic term I don’t understand attached to it.

And so is the trigeminal neuralgia.

And so is the gastroparesis. Gastroparesis. He actually told me that gastroparesis is a fucking migraine. Mind you, gastroparesis can apparently, they think, occur during migraines. But my gastroparesis is constant, and progressive, and totally unrelated to my migraine symptoms, while seeming very related to the neuromuscular problems that run in my family.

So the neuromuscular problems my family has, those don’t exist, can’t be that, I couldn’t, you know, have the same things my mother has, even though we have roughly the same symptoms. Because those are all migraines. Or something.

He’s also given me false information about my own symptoms. “You don’t experience your muscles weakening with use, you only experience general fatigue.” Actually no I experience both. But he wouldn’t know, would he? Because it’s not like every time I experience my body doing something, I report it to him. I only rarely have appointments with him, and they’re short, and I only discuss migraines. And other things that he swears are migraine related no matter whether they are or not.

As far as he’s concerned, any symptom I have? Migraine.

I understand that, in theory, migraines involve a lot more than headaches. And that they can encompass a really really wide variety of symptoms. But that doesn’t mean that every time I have a symptom you can call it a migraine.

It’s like… Yes migraines can cause neck pain. But just because a person has both migraines and neck pain, doesn’t mean the neck pain is related to the migraines. I have a lot of pain from my middle to upper back and neck. It seems related to the back pain far more than it’s related to the migraines. And the neck pain seems related to a specific nerve. My regular doctor has said it might be related to hypermobility syndrome, or some other possibilities. Not migraine. FFS.

But it doesn’t matter what I have, all of it is migraine. Because when all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail. But I’m really sick of dealing with things he can see as superficially similar, and then having him make those connections to migraine that don’t really exist. Just because a symptom has a superficial similarity to a migraine symptom doesn’t make it a migraine symptom. And just because people may get TEMPORARY gastroparesis during migraines, doesn’t mean that long term, severe, progressive, scary-level gastroparesis in a migraineur is caused by the migraines. Especially when the migraines and the gastroparesis seem to have absolutely no connection to each other, and autonomic dysfunction runs in the frigging family.

I don’t know how I’m going to approach him about this though. I suppose I’ll just have to be blunt and say it. Because it’s pretty ridiculous. And I can’t stand the knowing tone in his voice when he says he’s pretty sure I don’t have this or that thing… Because if I had this or that thing, it wouldn’t be a migraine, and he’s so damn sure it’s a migraine that it makes him get that know-it-all tone.

Another thing he got that tone about? He was certain I wouldn’t respond to pyridostigmine, because it couldn’t be neuromuscular problems, etc. But now that I’m on it, I can walk around the house without falling. Haven’t been able to do that in years. I walk more than before, because I have to get my butt pills from the fridge. And yet I never fall. He was certain it wouldn’t work because if it worked it would suggest I’d actually inherited those neuromuscular problems my mom has. Except it does work. Hah.

5 notes