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10:53am May 19, 2013

Things I need to remember.

If I feel so fatigued that I can’t even muster the energy to have emotions, I need to go to the hospital, NOW.

That hasn’t happened yet. But it happened last fall and it took me forever (and a video chat with Anne in which she looked at me and burst out crying) to realize what it meant. Because everyone was saying pneumonia always makes you tired. Except I’d been tired from pneumonia before, without that feeling like I was so tired death was sitting next to me, then later so tired I couldn’t move around or type, and so tired my brain stopped working and I started hallucinating, and etc.

So I need to watch fatigue levels. Right now I’m already worn out, but not that kind of worn out.

I also need to watch hydration levels, which will be hard on antibiotics and while draining my stomach all the time and coughing all the time, all of which cause me to lose water in various ways. Plus it’s hard to get enough water into my intestines in a day as it is.

I think I can feel every piece of my lungs. There’s the regular burning. Then there’s the extra special burning whenever I breathe. And then there’s the tightness. And the congestion.

I hope it’s not true that my lungs are getting worse permanently with every infection. I hope a couple months was enough time for them to heal, so this infection won’t be worse than the last.

But I don’t know anything. Just hope.

I’ve turned my oxygen up to three. I figure it’s good for me to be getting more of it, as my lungs get more and more cruddy.

It usually takes a couple days before the antibiotics really kick in. So this will get worse before it gets better. I just hope the ride isn’t too bumpy as this kind of ride goes.