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2:02am June 11, 2013

They said that I was a weak-willed little girl who loved her abusive boyfriend so much she’d never break up with him.

I knew two months in that I didn’t love him. I discovered it written down on paper somewhere. The problem is that he had convinced me there was a link between us that would cause one or both of us to “die or go insane” if it was broken. Therefore I was terrified of leaving him.

People who blame me for that are shitheads. (Also, so are people who actually believe the guy who is impersonating my actual ex, by using pictures that weren’t about a relationship at all. He just liked to get his picture taken with his arm around girls and a possessive smile on his face, he has dozens of them that I’ve seen.)

People who act like I was in that relationship because I wanted to be, or because I was so attached that I just couldn’t let go, or because I was some stupid little girl in love with her boyfriend no matter what he did to her… are totally full of crap and have no idea what they’re talking about. Probably have no idea what it means to be scared of someone, and to not know enough about the world to know that such threats can’t possibly be true.

Weirdly enough my current relationship with that guy is pretty friendly… Which is more than I can say for the jerk that’s impersonating him. (If you come across a guy loudly claiming to be my ex, you undoubtedly have not met my actual ex. Just a jackass who has been trying for years to claim ownership over me any way he can. My actual ex has grown into a decent person who wouldn’t do that to anyone.)

Anyway I just get frustrated with the sort of people who act like if you don’t leave someone, it’s because you’re so in love with them that you can’t see they’re hurting you. I knew fast I didn’t love him. I just didn’t know how to get out. Considering I didn’t even know how I’d gotten in, I was way too young to be in any sort of relationship, and I understood far less about the world than anyone but people who preyed on me were willing to guess.

Notes:
  1. withasmoothroundstone posted this