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12:22am June 16, 2013

➸ illegal plum pudding: sigh. just experienced yet again, another ‘health care’ setting...

iinventedeverything:

sigh. just experienced yet again, another ‘health care’ setting experience of doctor being asshole about weight. the door in another room was not shut and he was having lively conversation with patient about fat people and how sedentary they are and ‘flabby’ and how disturbing obesity trends are,…

When I had to deal with rich academic world people it was terrifying and toxic.

At one point at a major university I had to sit and listen to skinny rich mostly white people from corporations and skinny rich mostly white academics talk to each other about designing chairs in call centers to be uncomfortable so the workers would be forced to stand and walk. And wanting to scream at these people but no sound came out. They obviously never worked in call centers nor knew tons of people who did. Or anyone who did. So angry I had no words to use on them.

I was on Prednisone at the time. One person involved in the conversation had to drive me to the ER for breathing problems. Partially collapsed lung. Awful stuff going on with health.

Prednisone can cause terrible side effects including weakened immune system, psychosis, mania, death. Its not given unless you’re in awful shape. Because so dangerous. And all these rich academics would talk to Mr about was how they were SO WORRIED ABOUT ME because Pred increased my appetite a bit and that was horrible and dangerous.

MY LUNG WAS FUCKING PARTLY COLLAPSED AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT MY APPETITE!??????!!!!!!!

But I couldn’t scream at them. Felt too much like I didn’t belong in their rich academic people haven. Like everyone could see I was the person that everyone told didn’t ever belong on any university campus for the rest of my life. Like everyone so concerned about IQ could see my latest IQ results written on my forehead. They would know I didn’t deserve to he welcomed there with honor

So I said nothing but was so happy to go home and be with people like me again. Not thin rich or upper middle class mostly white people who felt totally happy disparaging people like me in front of me constantly FOR OUR OWN GOOD and all that shit.

Sorry I’ve never talked about how traumatic that trip was and suddenly one portion of it all came out.

Notes:
  1. auti-stim reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    I was overweight in hs but not by all that much. My endocrinologist at the time was focussed on making me loose weight...