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3:29am June 28, 2013

Further notes on the wheelchair etiquette post.

Also.

At one point I was at a conference and lying down next to my wheelchair.

A woman sat down in it and began playing with it, moving it further and further away from me, and I had no means of getting it back.

Worse.

Later on she began pestering my friend, the woman who was there helping me.

“Can I sit in her wheelchair?”

“PLEASE??”

“But my back hurts so much.”

(My friend told her a better position for that type of back pain was to lie down in a particular position.)

Two seconds later: “Oh never mind my back doesn’t hurt anymore.”

And it went on and on with that, with her trying to beg and guilt trip and wheedle my friend into letting her sit in my wheelchair.

No.

Don’t EVER be that person.

I once briefly lent my wheelchair to someone but that was because she had a BROKEN BONE and the hotel had refused to give her a room near the door. And it was only for five minutes, once.

You don’t get to ask for my wheelchair. Ever. And you sure as hell don’t get to haul off and sit in it moving it away from me. Not unless I personally and of my own free will tell you it is okay. And I won’t if you ask, beg, manipulate, or wheedle me.

There’s only one person I’d let play with my adaptive equipment and that’s a very close friend, closer than any other friend, with a special interest in adaptive technology. Short of that it won’t happen. And if you were that close to me, you’d know.

(And if you have to resort to following me around, manipulating, or wheedling me, you are not a close friend. Probably not a real friend at all. I have a much lower tolerance for that than I used to, after acquiring one of those stalkers who isn’t malicious but does believe they have a close relationship with a person who may not even know they exist. She moved across the country into my building, pestered people until she found someone willing to get her into my apartment, walked in the door, and declared we were friends because she read my writing and saw me on TV. The rest was a nightmare. I developed way more ability to assert boundaries after that experience and I won’t tolerate that kind of thing anymore.)