2:43am June 30, 2013

I think something is wrong.

First and most obvious the screen is no longer a screen. Each part of it. The keyboard. The display. It’s different from each other. It’s a place you wholly are, not a place you see from over and outside. Every time I type I feel stuck on the keyboard, like there’s others waiting there with me, like it’s a place and I’m there. And that scares me.

Other things go wrong. My breathing turns me into a train. (Jethro Tull wrote a song about it.) I feel kind of lost and as if I am in places very much not where I could really go.

I think there may be an element of delirium here. And I’m scared. I want to go back to how reality really works. Not this weird dream stuff. Dreams filled with weird body feelings and sounds. Just back to normal.

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