as small as a world and as large as alone

2:02am July 2, 2013

teddybruisevelt:

I guess the thing I’m having most trouble with when it comes to getting the diagnosis is that the last few days I’ve noticed that like every fucking thing I do is some sort of autistic behavior

so I’m sort of like

where do I stop and where does the autism begin

or am I just like a giant walking disorder

It gets easier with time, eventually it’s easier to see yourself as a whole person and not just this GIANT WALKING DEFICIT IN YOUR FACE if you know what I mean.

When you first start understanding what autism means, you can see it everywhere. Or sometimes also you end up seeing the slightest difference between you and another autistic person as meaning you’re not.

But either way.

Try to keep in mind that autism isn’t a thing. I mean not like measles is a thing.

As in there is no concrete thing called autism that attaches to people.

What there is, is people. And some people have things in common, and those traits have been labeled autism, as if those people have a thing. But they don’t. They just have traits in common and it’s convenient to treat them as if they all have a thing.

I know it’s a subtle difference but it can make it easier for your brain to see yourself as just a person again, rather than a walking pathology.

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