8:59am July 7, 2013

(weight)

revelations68:

when I weigh myself, I think “alright I won’t lose anymore I’m gonna plateau and feel in control again"

I lost two more pounds today

down to 198 from 220+

my family just praises me and says “I wish I had that problem!“ and congratulates me but I feel like I’m sick

I feel like the doctors have missed something

I feel scared inside and that’s humiliating I feel like I’m just a fucking hypochondriac.

I don’t know how fast you’re losing weight, but I’ve been experiencing the same thing from gastroparesis and malabsorption.

I used to be 240 pounds, now I’m 205. (My lowest was 192 but that was before the feeding tube got installed.) And yeah it’s not normal at all to lose a lot of weight without meaning to. (Hell, most people can’t even lose weight if they mean to.) There are all kinds of medical problems that can lead to unexplained weight loss and none of them are to be taken lightly no matter how much you weighed to begin with. If you are malnourished for some reason you’re probably burning muscle in really unhealthy ways, which can affect the heart.

And I get furious at people who treat this like it’s a good thing or something to be jealous of. (But I’ve known people who had cancer who actually got told "I wish I had cancer so I could lose weight”, so there’s really no tact in the world at all. I’ve been told the same about gastroparesis.)

Anyway there are so many things that can cause unintentional weight loss, that it’s likely that your doctor missed something. Either that or your metabolism drastically changed in some way.

But I get so many people complimenting me on my weight loss that I stiffen up the moment someone says I lost weight. I was absurdly grateful once when an ER nurse said I lost weight, and then said “…it’s the gastroparesis and malabsorption isn’t it, that sucks.” I’d been bracing myself for more compliments.

(And yeah you can burn through muscle in an unhealthy way even if you have a lot of fat too. At least that’s what they told me when I was first diagnosed. Being fat protects me from becoming dangerously underweight quickly, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be seriously damaged or die from starvation before you ever become thin. Fun facts nobody ever tells you.)

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