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10:26am July 15, 2013

I’m getting really fed up with this staff person and her attitude that I’ve never thought if anything until she came along.

I’ve got this substitute staff person who always comes in here and makes suggestions. Suggestions is too mild. Demands.

She basically suggests something. And if I say no it’s okay, she argues. And argues. And argues. And won’t take no for a fucking answer.

She always seems to think that until she came along, I never thought of anything.

Like today she informed me that the back if my drainage bags say single use only and that this is maybe why the spouts leak.

Fine. Yes. Okay. I know that.

Then she starts pushing the point that maybe they should only be used once.

I informed her that nurses and doctors have told me if I wash them I can keep using them.

She kept at it.

I finally told her that I’d she wanted to spend $2100 a month on them, or persuade insurance to do the same and persuade the local supply stores to carry them, she’s welcome.

Like hello, lots of disabled people ask over the world are poor. And lots of us have to use things past their expiration date. Or literally make things ourselves. Until I somehow get the money to use these more often, I am going to use them until they fall apart, patching them up as I go. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT POOR PEOPLE DO. My parents still have a toaster from 1941, and I bet it’s because of exactly those same habits. (Plus they made toasters better back then.) I grew up with that toaster, and lots of other “outdated"stuff like black and white tv into the eighties and a manual lawn mower and a rotary phone into the 2000s, because we may have had some money by then but old habits die hard. And honestly I’m glad we kept those habits because they’ve helped me adjust to poverty better than someone whose family had money for generations instead of years.

I really wish she’d quit acting like she understands everything more than I do, always knows better than I do. I also told her exactly how to empty the drainage bag, then had to rescue her when she did it wrong. And she got mad at me, said she would figured it out eventually. (Yeah, but not until after my makeshift glove-finger condom over the spout filled with bile and got all over the place. I got the rubber bands off while she was busy yelling at me about how she couldn’t get the condom off because of them. Without them it would leaked.  If she’d listened and taken the condom off before flipping the bag over, there’d have been no urgency.)

And that’s the thing. She never understands I do things for reasons. She tries to do them differently, or tries to argue with me over how things are done just because she can’t see the point of how I do them. Her supervisors have talked to get about it a billion times too, she just can’t seem to restrain herself.

And she never just listens when I decline her ideas. She has to push them on me until I argue, and then criticize my character if I eventually lose my temper.

This is not how to be a good staff person. But I’m sure she believes she’s thinking of things to improve my life. But in reality she’s acting like I’ve never been able to do anything right until she came along.

And no. Telling me "I’ll give you till next week to think about my idea then ask you again” is not acceptable. Neither is pushing the point when a poor person is reusing something instead of buying a new one every day. I doubt she had much money unless she’s in this line of work for the fun of it, so she ought to understand. But IDK WTF. It’s just really an obnoxious way to behave.

(And calling me impatient for running in and fixing her mistake before bile starts pouring everywhere is also really not okay.  Unless she wanted to clean up the bile?)