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1:22am July 31, 2013

➸ Janna's weird crap: I don't know if this nausea is because...

youneedacat:

Of gastroparesis?

Or of reading this horrible new age crap that’s just… like an overdose of cotton candy. And self-serving as hell.

(It’s all that garbage about generations of special special children, who only decide to get born to special special parents of course. And who…

Yes yes yes THAT feeling. I get the same one. And it’s evil masquerading as the opposite.

Some of it has even infected the autism world under other names. I have books that I felt obligated to collect, but that I can’t even touch without feeling sick in the same way. They don’t mention crystal children. But they’re about the same concept.

And the nausea is real. Not a metaphor. I really feel like throwing up when I read this stuff.

There’s a new kind of kid they talk about now, rainbow children. Each generation more spiritually evolved than the last, because this comes out of a very recent cultural focus on “generations” as the force of change.

And the website talked about how she just happened to go into this tiny restaurant in another country where a mother just happened to call her son a rainbow child and he was telepathic (because psychic == spiritual in these people’s world) and stuff. And why would this just happen to happen to a woman who’s been writing about indigo and crystal children for ages?

I’ve been exploited by people like this before, I think maybe that’s why it makes me feel so sick. But I can’t describe why, or all the zillion ways it’s plain evil packaged as the opposite.

This is one reason it’s taken me so long to publicly describe some of the ways I inwardly interact with the world. Because people once put me on a very nasty pedestal very akin to this stuff. And I finally had to decide people will be wrong about me no matter what I do, and I’m older now, I can avoid being sucked in by people like that wanting to…. yuck. But at any rate I can get away from them now, they can think what they want about me, they’ll just be wrong.

Ugh I still feel sick. I won’t read about that again in a hurry. But it’s interesting we both get that awful feeling around the books and websites and stuff.