9:10pm October 12, 2013

➸ Social skills for autonomous people: p-3a: phrases teachers/parents/caregivers/peers need to stop telling...

p-3a:

phrases teachers/parents/caregivers/peers need to stop telling bullied kids:

“it’s alright, in ten years’ time you’ll be their boss and they’ll be flipping burgers at mcdonalds!”

because, no, okay, listen. the kid that’s being bullied is probably going to have lasting effects from…

“He’s not a bully, he’s too geeky!”

“He’s not a womanizer, he’s too geeky!”

“He’s not charismatic, he’s too geeky!”

He’s laughing so hard at how much he gets to pull the wool over people’s eyes, because he’s so good at playing the harmless sweet geeky Nice Guy.

Some of the worst bullies and womanizers and manipulators I’ve ever met in my life were so good at being the harmless geeky gifted kid who if anything would be seen as the victim because bullies are jocks not geeks.

And I’ve known so many wonderful, caring, ethical jocks.

People wonder why I don’t identify heavily with intellect just because I was classed as gifted as a kid. One reason? EXPERIENCES LIKE THAT. Gifted programs were a nightmare, not a refuge. I’ll never ever be a Ravenclaw.

I can’t value intellect that way. It’s not that it has no value. It’s that I’ve seen so much damage done by over valuing it. By seeing it as a mark of superiority. By having overly simplistic views of what an intellect is, such that you can’t have an intellectual disability and also be smart, you can’t be gifted and also be dumb, and you can always tell which is which, and these categories are so meaningful.

I hate it.

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