4:37am October 21, 2013

➸ "You don't need this junk. You need a cat.": Looooong rambling on fat and self-image stuff.

youneedacat:

…that most of the people who cyberbully me seem to love to take swipes at me about my weight.

I don’t know if it’s just that weight is an easy target that they think will make people more sympathetic to them and less sympathetic to me. Or what.

I still can’t believe that one guy who recently…

Sending love.

I have never understood why people hate fat people so much. But lots of people tend to take the existence of fat people as a personal affront. And feel absolutely entitled if not practically morally obligated to shame them.

Is it fear? Maybe.

It is certainly sick. People think it’s okay to say very hurtful things. And they even think it’s good fun.

I grew up in a fatphobic family where a high premium was put on being thin and in shape… to the point where I sometimes now feel fat.

So our society does this. We need to stop doing this as a society.

Fat hatred is a thing. I wish I knew why. We need to make it not be a thing.

All of my fat friends are beautiful. And I don’t mean that in a creepy stalker way. I mean that sincerely.

I want to help make life suck less for y’all.

All my family but one is fat, so at least I didn’t have to deal with a thin family. (Of course if my whole family was thin maybe my genetics would be a bit different and I wouldn’t be dealing with the fatphobia anyway, but who knows.) We all deal with it in different ways, though. My mom is really into this diet she found, and keeps trying to claim that it worked for her because she “made it into a lifestyle, not a diet”. (Which may be true for her, but there’s also a lot of body type that goes into it. A lot of people make their diets into lifestyles and still can’t keep the weight off like she has. I don’t think she realizes that.) My brother is the biggest of any of us, tried dieting and then gained all the weight back and now everyone is pressuring him to diet again. My dad tried dieting to lose weight and it didn’t get rid of the health problems he’d been told it would (cholesterol and blood pressure), so after trying being thinner for awhile he gained some of the weight back and mostly is taking it easy about the whole thing, just sensible eating and sensible exercise and whatever weight he ends up he doesn’t seem to mind. My other brother is thin and has weird ideas about fat. (Like he tried to tell me I might be bedridden because I was fat. Sorry but you have to be waaaaaay fatter than I was to be bedridden from it, or even to have stamina significantly affected. I know people bigger than I’ve ever been who are serious endurance athletes.) I refuse to diet, I just try to adjust my feeding tube calories so I’m not actively gaining weight, and my goal is to either maintain weight or lose it slowly enough as to not cause health issues. I would love to exercise but with the myasthenia-ish-disorder that’s impossible. But that exercise would be for my health, not weight. I worry a lot about my health in terms of exercise but I try to worry more about health than weight, in general. So mixing up all our mutual attitudes towards fat gets interesting and occasionally explosive.

But I just want to cry sometimes when I realize how disgusted people are just by the fact we exist. Like what did extra adipose tissue ever do to them? It’s gotten worse, too. I never used to hear this “I vomited because I saw a picture of a fat person” thing before. Or maybe I was lucky. I know people have always hated and made fun of us, but that level of “You shouldn’t even exist in our world” seems to be getting more and more intense. And yet those very same people will disguise it as “concern for our health”. (I actually got one such person to finally admit that her real problem with fat people was that she had to touch us sometimes because we took up too much space and she hated that. And therefore she wanted us to all get thin. So it wasn’t all concern for our health after all… that’s just what people say when they’re trying to put a polite veneer over something really ugly.)

How can anyone just hate the existence of an entire type of people, be disgusted by us, etc.? I know people feel the same way about other types of people too. It’s just why do people feel like that about anyone? What right do they think they have to decide that an entire type of people is too ugly or disgusting to exist in their world so they find ways to shut us out?

Notes: