5:57am October 24, 2013

holy fuck

I think I just had a conversation that simultaneously combined a couple of my least favorite things.

1. Telling someone that I have language problems, and then being relentlessly picked apart for my language usage alone and no other topic at all. And also telling someone I have language problems, explaining a little of how I communicate, and being asked “Do you really expect anyone to understand you if you communicate that way?”

2. A. Being told that words don’t always have the same meaning 100% of the time. B. Informing the person that I never expect words to always have the same meaning, and in fact often use words with different meanings (doesn’t everyone!? but also, language problems). C. Being asked, “Do you really expect anyone to understand you if you communicate that way?”

At this point I don’t even care if the person was being sincere or not, I just can’t handle the kind of communication dynamic where I’m being told that I shouldn’t communicate.

(Which is what it basically amounted to in the end, because asking me to examine every word I use – regardless of the reason for doing so – is asking me to stop communicating altogether. I can either do it as-is or not at all. No other choice.)

I checked out of the conversation early because I’ve never had a conversation actually recover when it reaches this point. It doesn’t matter what my reaction is. I can be calm and polite. I can try to explain. I can get angry. I can do nothing. Nothing is ever good enough in situations like this, and it always ends up spiraling worse and worse and worse until something seriously upsetting happens. So I put the person on ignore. Because, better to be proactive for once instead of expecting it to be different this time.

Notes: