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12:01am November 25, 2013

@youneedacat

madeofpatterns:

Something in your words pattern is alarming me; are you ok?

Specifically, are you being triggered into wordsing when you shouldn’t?

Probably.

I’m really exhausted.

And I’m trying to say things I don’t know how to say.

And … I don’t even know what I’m doing.  I’m sitting up at night listening to the Cocteau Twins (trying, even, to create a playlist) and being in a lot of pain and trying to respond to things because it feels like communication, but then, getting twisted up in stuff sometimes.

There’s a cat here though.

And my entire back is on fire for some reason.

I’m kind of adrift in some way.  Like I don’t really know where my mind is going, I don’t really know why I’m doing one thing and not another thing, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing in the first place.

And I think I was just doing things in order to do them, in order to feel connected to something out there in the world.

Thank you for caring.  It means a lot.