as small as a world and as large as alone, in regards to earlier trans talk, i don't...

8:30pm November 29, 2013

Anonymous asked: in regards to earlier trans talk, i don't understand how someone can identify as a woman and nonbinary? nonbinary suggests that they don't want to be a part of the male/female spectrum, yet why would someone also consider themselves a woman? that's almost as ignorant and hurtful as saying you're a lesbian and a transgender man.

lisaquestions:

clatterbane:

jobhaver:

“nonbinary” doesnt mean “genderless”. many, many nonbinary people use and identify with gendered terms. sometimes they may identify with gendered terms from a variety of genders.

the vast majority of nonbinary persons i have ever met or encountered use some gendered terms to describe themselves at various points and have very complex and nuanced relationships to these terms which don’t generally fall along the gender binary in a neat way. hearing people say that you can’t be nonbinary and use various gendered terms is telling me that they dont approve of virtually any of my nonbinary friends claims to be nonbinary because they dont meet some ideal of pure ungendered platonic perfection.

the situation of men claiming to be lesbians is very different because there is a particular dynamic there of men attempting to access women’s spaces and appropriate their identities. nonbinary women are not binary women appropriating nonbinary identities and seeking access to the space of a less powerful group. they are nonbinary people who are being told by other people that they arent nonbinary enough because, like virtually all other nonbinary people use a gendered word to describe themselves sometimes.

its funny how many faab nonbinary people describe themselves with gendered terms (e.g., “boy”, “prince”, and “fag”) and no one questions their being nonbinary but the moment a trans woman does the same its ignorant and hurtful

and by “funny” i mean transmisogynist

Even for agender people, that can also be very complicated. And it’s really none of anybody else’s business. (The salient point, really.)

Yes. Being agender and also identifying myself as a woman. I have many reasons for this which are mentioned in the above answer. Mostly I don’t go into it because I don’t want to deal with people who think that pointing out I use both agender and woman to identify myself is contradictory or somehow hurtful to them because I am trying to negotiate a binarist society as a nonbinary person.

Yep. Very complicated, and not willing to go into it with hostile strangers. Especially since it contradicts received wisdom about just about everything and that gets exhausting just trying to live in a world where not only the dominant society but the dominant alternative thinks you’re not good enough because you’re a human being and can’t live up to their fucking ideology. And yes, nobody’s business but the person in question.

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